Ho ho... hokum?

"Track Santa on his busiest night of the year!"
I clicked the link with some hesitation, hoping that this was a result of too much birthday fun and not enough sleep last night.
But that wasn't the case, and as soon as the theme music for http://www.noradsanta.org/ came on and the window opened up to a language selection scroll, I knew I was geting exactly what I had been promised in the link, and at 11:15 pm, Santa was sailing the friendly skies somewhere above Peoria Illinois.
I don't know about you, but I quit believing in Santa years ago, like more than twenty. I think I was the first kid to tell my friends that I saw my parents stuffing my stocking and shucking presents under the tree, and since that time, I've found it incredibly deceptive to lie to kids about this icon, but somewhat necessary because of folklore and what have you.
But to have an entire article, nay, website! dedicated to this false journey and false person seems like such a waste of human resource and capital. beers and laughter aside, I had decided to put an end to this silliness... by blogging about it.
And then I saw the phone number.
yes, Virginia, there IS a line to talk to a Norad Santa tracker representative in PERSON. I can't even get that when I call the Field Museum or the Social Security Administration for real shit, and I still call them sometimes, so hell, why not this too.
I dialed the number and the funny, charming volunteer on the other end of the line shared several things with my crochety (or is that Crachet-y?) old self.
1. Norad is the North American Aeropace Defense Command. Yep, it's a goverment organization.
2. This part of it IS entirely volunteer-run. Like the war, thank god I'm not paying for it. Wait...
3. Santa moves from state to state in less than five minutes.
He was in Missouri when we started chatting and Arkansas when I hung up.
4. The Volunteers don't feel bad about lying to kids, becauase "if they're calling, it's what they want to hear."
5. The santa tracker began as a mistake 52 years ago when someone called the Colo. Springs military post and not a dept. store because of a newspaper misprint, and a commander, not wanting to disappoint the kiddies, had everyone working play along.
Whoa.
I hung up feeling slightly shitty for scoffing the idea of making little kids happy on Christmas eve, because I had expected something else. Not sure what, but not the nice guy wishing me a Merry Christmas and enduring my laughter and questions.
I say slightly shitty, though, because it was only slightly shitty that I felt.
I mean, how much do you suppose the Norad/google maps site costs to run? I have no idea, but I can tell you it's too much. The staffers, friendly as mine was, might be volunteers, but what utility does the site serve, really?
Spend that money, U.S. govt., and hook up the starving, freezing children who can't afford to believe in some fake fat white man with some tangible cheer.
Speaking of the impossible...