Ho ho... hokum?

"Track Santa on his busiest night of the year!"
I clicked the link with some hesitation, hoping that this was a result of too much birthday fun and not enough sleep last night.
But that wasn't the case, and as soon as the theme music for http://www.noradsanta.org/ came on and the window opened up to a language selection scroll, I knew I was geting exactly what I had been promised in the link, and at 11:15 pm, Santa was sailing the friendly skies somewhere above Peoria Illinois.
I don't know about you, but I quit believing in Santa years ago, like more than twenty. I think I was the first kid to tell my friends that I saw my parents stuffing my stocking and shucking presents under the tree, and since that time, I've found it incredibly deceptive to lie to kids about this icon, but somewhat necessary because of folklore and what have you.
But to have an entire article, nay, website! dedicated to this false journey and false person seems like such a waste of human resource and capital. beers and laughter aside, I had decided to put an end to this silliness... by blogging about it.
And then I saw the phone number.
yes, Virginia, there IS a line to talk to a Norad Santa tracker representative in PERSON. I can't even get that when I call the Field Museum or the Social Security Administration for real shit, and I still call them sometimes, so hell, why not this too.
I dialed the number and the funny, charming volunteer on the other end of the line shared several things with my crochety (or is that Crachet-y?) old self.
1. Norad is the North American Aeropace Defense Command. Yep, it's a goverment organization.
2. This part of it IS entirely volunteer-run. Like the war, thank god I'm not paying for it. Wait...
3. Santa moves from state to state in less than five minutes.
He was in Missouri when we started chatting and Arkansas when I hung up.
4. The Volunteers don't feel bad about lying to kids, becauase "if they're calling, it's what they want to hear."
5. The santa tracker began as a mistake 52 years ago when someone called the Colo. Springs military post and not a dept. store because of a newspaper misprint, and a commander, not wanting to disappoint the kiddies, had everyone working play along.
Whoa.
I hung up feeling slightly shitty for scoffing the idea of making little kids happy on Christmas eve, because I had expected something else. Not sure what, but not the nice guy wishing me a Merry Christmas and enduring my laughter and questions.
I say slightly shitty, though, because it was only slightly shitty that I felt.
I mean, how much do you suppose the Norad/google maps site costs to run? I have no idea, but I can tell you it's too much. The staffers, friendly as mine was, might be volunteers, but what utility does the site serve, really?
Spend that money, U.S. govt., and hook up the starving, freezing children who can't afford to believe in some fake fat white man with some tangible cheer.
Speaking of the impossible...

No stranger the bedfellow than others

Well, it’s official. I’m dating the guy I once called a “sleazy politician.”
You know the kind: the man drives a ridiculously nice car, wears Polo button-ups, studied politics at Georgetown.
Before I continue to sound so incredibly shallow, let me qualify this all by saying that in the past, I’ve tended to date with my heart: if he’s nice, interesting, and makes me laugh, even though he’s a slacker, I’m probably going to give him a chance if we hit it off or have continually enjoyed each other’s company.
Now, in my "wise" age, I'm shifting that open-heartedness somewhat, in a good way.
Sean isn’t generally the type of guy I go for, but I think that’s a good thing. I’m still dating with my heart, because I DO like him, but I’m also dating with my head-could I see myself spending time with this guy outside of a bar or as arm candy at a fundraiser?
Over the past week or so, I’ve found myself referring to him as my “boyfriend” among friends, so I guess the answer is yes.
I think he’s as surprised as me, because he keeps asking me about my past boyfriends and the skater/bartender/emo-kid lifestyle they embraced, but that’s sort of where the surprise ends.
He’s certainly got the good-looking thing going for him, we laugh all the time and he’s so fucking intelligent I can’t stand it. I want to have a real relationship with someone as driven and quirky as me, and if it’s taken me into the white-collar world of politics to find it, so be it.
To many, this isn’t really a revelatory thing, in the world of dating. Most of my friends are married (gak, it's true, at 25, most of my friends are already married!) to successful, intelligent, good-looking guys with ambition. But after mostly dating guys who need to grow up, for me, it’s kinda strange to be with someone so well put together.
I definitely didn’t anticipate it when we first started seeing each other regularly, but the man has managed to keep me interested and entertained for a few months. I guess he’s doing something right, or else I've finally learned what it is that I DON'T want, even if I still don't know exactly what I DO want.
I may sound like the most wishy-washy chick ever, but then, that’s another hard part. Now that I’m feeling like I might really be interested in him, I’m doubly freaked out.
I mean c’mon. The man is a political campaign manager. His JOB is to convince people to vote for his man, regardless of what it takes. I once called him “sleazy” for a reason, that reason being politics. And that’s the double-edge sword of my attraction. He loves his job and is good at it, but he loves his job and is good at it, and he’s a politician. They get the rap they do for a reason. This WHAT THEY DO. Get you to believe them, and before you know it, you’re going to bed with a sense of security and belief in their rhetoric and promises.
Or the politician himself.
Which is sort of where I’ve found myself at present and it’s not even January 3rd yet.